when someone with no real authority over you tells you to do something
(Source: heart-strung, via alexturnerswife)
'no homo' god says as he puts the male g-spot up their anus
opinions on abortions are kinda like nipples
everyone has them but women’s are a little bit more relevant
But all you ever see are men’s
(Source: uncooler, via happiest)
at least SOMEONE laughs at my jokes. it’s me. i laugh at my own jokes.